


You're Beautiful, But You're Empty

by SmokySky



Series: Beautiful [1]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Episode s01e6, F/M, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Near Death Experiences, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-11-02 07:36:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20670128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmokySky/pseuds/SmokySky
Summary: Tommy finds out Grace has betrayed him and the Peaky Blinders, and his old friend Theodora goes to give her a piece of her mind, only for Tommy to overhear, but will Tommy be able to deal with what happens next?Update 01/11/2019 -since people mentioned they would be interested, there's now a full length story based on this one-shot, so if you want to read more about what happens to lead Tommy and Dora to this point, and find out what happens after, then check that out!





	You're Beautiful, But You're Empty

**Author's Note:**

> Set at the end of series one, this one-shot started out being based very loosely on the following quote, but then grew into something completely different with far too much dialogue: 
> 
> _ “You’re beautiful, but you’re empty. No-one could die for you.”  _ \- Antoine de Saint Exupéry.

Tommy slammed into the living room, eyes wild: “Ada, you and the baby get in the Bull Ring, where there’s plenty of people.”

“What’s going on?” Polly asked, cutting off Tommy’s pacing with her sharp tone.

“We’ve been fucking betrayed.” Tommy exhaled, running a hand through his hair and starting to pace again: “Somebody let slip: Kimber’s men are on their way here.”

Polly immediately started helping Ada up out of her chair, getting ready to help her to the Bull Ring: “But you can handle them, Tommy?”

Dora shook her head, having just realised what Polly hadn’t: “It’s just us. The Lees on their way to Worcester - even if we send someone after them, they won’t get back in time.”

“They won’t. We’re outnumbered” Tommy slammed his fists down on the side cabinet: “Fuck!”

“Who else knew today was the day you were moving on Kimber?” Polly asked...although everyone in the room already knew what the answer was: “You said you kept it a secret - who else did you tell?”

Tommy sighed, jaw working in silence, and Polly turned to Dora.

Dora could’ve told Polly that he’d told Grace, but Polly already knew that that was exactly what he'd done. And with his eyes glistening with tears - _ and Dora had never seen Tommy even come close to tears while the sun was u _ _p_ \- she couldn’t kick him while he was down, which was exactly what telling Polly what she already knew would be. Saying it aloud would just make it all the more real for him, all the more painful, and Dora wouldn’t do that to him.

“There’s only one thing that could blind a man as smart as you, Tommy. Love. It was that barmaid, wasn’t it?” Polly demanded. Tommy turned his face away, eyes only getting wetter, making Polly turn to Dora with a determined look: “Wasn’t it, Theodora?”

“Don’t make me answer that, Polly.”

“I’ll deal with Grace.” Polly decided grimly, looking at Tommy with sympathy that he couldn’t see with his back turned to her: “If you set eyes on her again you might kill her. Just focus on Kimber, I’ll sort out the rest.”

Polly left in a whirl of quiet fury, and Ada slipped out with little Karl a few seconds later, leaving Dora and Tommy alone in the living room. She watched his shoulders rise and fall for a few moments, just slightly unsteady, but for Tommy that was like a fucking siren blaring that something was wrong.

“I don’t want you to fight with me today, Theodora.” Tommy suddenly said, his voice low and dark in the quiet of the room: “Go with Ada.”

Dora was already shaking her head: “Not a chance. I’m a Peaky Blinder - ”

“You’re a fucking bitch!” Tommy shouted, turning on Dora in a towering rage: “This is what you wanted all a-fucking-long, you selfish, stupid bitch! What, did you think I didn’t see?” he continued, working himself up good and proper: “You’ve hated Grace from the start! And why, because you wanted me to yourself? Well, I don’t want you! I never have, and I never will - because I had a chance at happiness with Grace, and now because you poisoned Polly against her, Polly is going to run Grace off, and I’m going to be alone for the rest of my fucking life! And it’s all your fault, you selfish fucking cunt!”

Tommy panted in the silence that followed his outburst, while Dora waited patiently for him to finish.

She knew she was giving the appearance of an adult waiting for a child to finish having a tantrum, with her arms folded across her chest and her hip cocked, but in reality her arms were crossed so she could hide how her hands were shaking, and her hip was cocked because if Dora didn’t stand like this she was afraid her knees might give out from under her. Because Tommy’s words fucking _ hurt _. Dora had had people been cruel to her in the past, of course she had, but not Tommy. Never Tommy; he’d always been her best friend and biggest advocate, her knight in soot-smeared armour whenever she’d needed help, or her first supporter when she’d handled her own business. That alone had made her put up with a lot: barking orders at her, dismissing her when he thought women had no place making decisions in his business, even when he’d slapped her for bringing up his nightmares in front of his family.

But it didn’t excuse _this_.

Dora was Tommy’s friend - maybe she loved him, but first and foremost she always had been his friend first: from when they’d started walking home from school together, to when she’d been sending him care packages while he was at the front, to when he came back unable to sleep from nightmares, and everything in between. And truth be told, she would probably want to be his friend after all of this had blown over, but even the fact that she loved him didn’t mean she was going to let him talk to her like that. 

“I’ll keep this short, Tommy. I don’t want you - I don’t want any man who apparently holds me in such low esteem.” Dora told him, her voice as cold and hard as his had been when he’d told her to go after Ada: “The fact that Grace betrayed you to Campbell has nothing to do with me. As much as I’m sorry that she has, and my heart hurts for you that you think you can’t be happy without, I’ll be damned if I let you blame me for your stupidity.”

Tommy sneered: “My only stupid act - ”

“Shut the fuck up! I’m talking now, and you’re going to fucking listen!" Dora snapped: "You didn’t see that the barmaid was using you, and that’s your own damn fault - not mine, not Polly’s, no-one’s but yours. And you’re going to have to deal with that. Probably on your own, but then that’s how you like things these days, isn’t it? Just watch you don’t get us all killed dealing with Kimber and his men so you get the chance, won’t you?”

Dora stormed out, slamming the door behind her and leaving Tommy alone with his anger. She made sure Ada had made it to the Bull Ring safely, ignoring the younger Shelby’s questions about why Dora was so pale and so tense, before heading to the Garrison where she knew Polly would be ‘dealing’ with Grace.

Truth be told, Dora had never understood what Tommy saw in Grace. She was pretty - not stunning, but certainly a woman men would give a second glance. Her personality wasn’t quite as brash as most of the women around Small Heath, but Dora guessed she had to have shown Tommy some spine for him to be interested in her. Maybe it was the fact she’d fought to sing in the Garrison, maybe it was because she never looked at Tommy with fear or respect like everyone else in Small Heath did, or maybe it was something that had gone on between just them that Dora would never know about. At the end of the day, it didn’t really matter much. Grace was still going to have to go, for the good of not just Tommy, and not even the Shelby family, but for the good of all the Peaky Blinders. And one way or another, Polly and Dora would make sure Grace never showed her face in Small Heath ever again.

She walked in just as Polly stepped into Grace's line of sight, stunning her by asking: “Going for good?”

“I heard there was trouble.” Grace responded, looking nervously between Dora and Polly, before deciding to focus on the older woman, leaving Dora to take her place between Grace and the door.

Polly just smiled - though there was nothing pleasant or warm about the expression: “Instinct’s a funny thing. See, normally I can tell about a person, but with you...”

“Look, the fighting is about to begin.” Grace replied, desperation starting to creep into her eyes: “We should get out of here.”

“We know who you are.”

Grace rocked back a step.

She tried to hide it: only froze for a second, before she was moving again, swinging her handbag over her shoulder, but Dora had seen her reaction, knew Polly had too. And she knew both of them saw that Grace never moved forward to make up the space she’d lost.

Maybe it was something to do with Polly reaching up to pull out one of her hair pins.

“Tommy knows as well. Turned out that copper of yours as good as told him this morning.” Polly carried on, her tone almost conversational, even as advanced on Grace with her hair pin in hand: “But we wanted to hear it from your own lips.”

Dora saw Grace open her handbag, and had own gun lifted to aim between the barmaid’s eyes before she could even pull the weapon free: “I wouldn’t.”

“I am an agent of the crown.” Grace ignored Dora, aiming her pistol at Polly and finally feeling brave enough to step forward once again - like her gun made any difference: “I have the power to arrest, and the right to use force. So please, Theodora, step out of my way.”

Polly didn’t so much as blink: “Like I say, instinct’s a funny thing. You won’t shoot me, and you won’t shoot our Dora, either.”

“I will do whatever I need to do.” Grace responded.

“And that’s your problem.” Dora snapped: “Whatever you need to do? Lie to people, send them to their deaths, even kill them yourself. And for what?”

“Don’t you try and take the moral high ground with me, Theodora, You’re no stranger to lying, or worse.”

“I’m not - I’ve lied, I’ve beaten people, and I’ve killed: but every law I’ve broken, every awful thing I’ve done, all of it was done to help and protect the people I love. What do you do bad things for, Grace? Money? Staus? Power?" Dora sneered: "Do you think those things will make you happy, in the end?”

Grace froze, but Dora wasn’t done.

This woman had hurt Tommy - and Tommy was Dora’s best friend, even when he’d hurt her.

“You’re a beautiful act, Grace but you’re empty.” Dora said quietly, looking at Grace with pity she knew the other woman would hate: “You’re a puppet made to play a part. No-one would die for you.”

Grace froze - but only for a second: “Don’t test me, Theodora. This gun is loaded.”

“I’m not afraid of you.” Dora continued, still as pitying as before: “I feel sorry for you. Because you thought you could have all of this, didn’t you? Your service to the crown and a man’s love, the two happily coexisting. But then one had to come above the other. And you chose your status as an agent of the crown over the man who loved you.”

“I don’t have to answer - ”

“No, you don’t have to speak at all.” Polly continued, slowly starting to circle Grace: “Because Dora’s not the only one here who pities you. You fell for Tommy for real, didn’t you? Poor slip of a thing, you thought you’d come in here and stitch us all up. Rich girl I’d guess. Unionist? An Ulster volunteer? You thought Fenians, communists, low people, they’re all the same. Scum. But then you met Tommy.”

“You’re wrong.” Grace hissed, but neither Dora or Polly stopped looking at her with anything but pity and disgust: “I never loved Tommy! Arthur could only tell me so much - and despite what an idiot he is, even he would only trust me if Tommy trusted me first! You fucking Blinders all think the sun shines out that man’s arse, but that’s what makes you so fucking easy to get around. All I had to do was get to him, and all of you - even you two, no matter how much you suspected me - would let me do whatever I wanted.”

Polly and Dora shared a look, before Polly turned to Grace: “That was your one chance out, Grace. And you wasted it.”

“We’re not that easy to get around,” Dora re-aimed at Grace’s head: “Not really.”

Grace snarled and raised her pistol again, but before she could shoot at Polly, or Dora could shoot at Grace, there was the sound of a door closing to their right.

All three of them turned to see what - or who - had made the noise, only to find Tommy leaning casually on the closed door that had been the cause of the noise that had drawn their attention. Dora had to force herself to stay in place, focus on keeping her gun steady, even though she wasn’t sure if she wanted to run out the door to get away from Tommy, or drop the gun and run towards him. Maybe he hated her, maybe that had been his upset talking earlier, but either way he looked so broken in this second that it took Dora everything she had to just...stand and do nothing but watch his distress.

Her friend looked utterly broken, and Dora hated that there was nothing she could do to help him.

“You know, we’ve had some coppers’ narks in here before, but you Grace?” Tommy asked softly, looking at Grace with a look in his eyes that was so, so much older than he was, and so painfully tired: “You’re the queen of them all.”

Grace’s eyes softened, but by now no-one was falling for her act: “Tommy - ”

“Take her back to the house, Pol. I’ll deal with her later. Kimber’s almost at the door.”

Polly knocked Grace’s gun out of her hand and grabbed it for herself, using it to force her out the back door of the Garrison. Dora ignored Tommy’s quiet call of her name, ducking out the front door to join the throng of men waiting for Tommy to address them, unable to handle talking to him on her own at the moment. He followed her out a few seconds later, dry-eyed and confident, his usual mask firmly back in place to talk to the troops.

“Alright men, you were mostly in the war so you know that battle plans always change and get fucked up, well here it is. Things have changed. We fight them here, today, alone.” Tommy announced the to Blinders: “Now they’re gonna come for the pub. They’re gonna try and break us up for good, and we’ll have no help from the law today. But that pub there is called the Garrison,” he told the crowd, gesturing to the pub with his pistol: “Well now it really is one. And it belongs to us, right?” 

The men roared their agreement, even Jeremiah was ready to fight to the last to make sure Billy Kimber didn’t get his way. And he wouldn’t.

Billy Kimber was all mouth and no balls - he’d swan up here, with his little army that were soft from sitting on their arses since they came back from the war, running his big fat mouth, and then Dora was going to shoot him. Or Tommy would. Or Arthur, John, or any of the Blinders: all of them were ready to do whatever was necessary to make sure that Kimber was sent back Leeds with his tail between his legs, or in a pine box. Dora knew what she’d prefer, so she triple checked her pistol was fully loaded, and that she had more bullets in her trouser pockets.

Two vans full of men wasn’t a lot, but it was a lot more than the Blinders had. Dora reckoned they were outnumbered three to one, which she announced the crowd when Tommy looked to her to answer John’s question of how many they were up against. The men weren’t best pleased, but Tommy brought them back round with his army talk - the Small Heath Rifles had never lost a fight yet, after all. From there it ran like any military operation Tommy had run in the war, or at least Dora assumed, with orders and positions being handed out and accepted without question.

Even when Dora ended up next to Tommy, she didn’t argue with him, instead waiting in tense silence just like all the others.

It was a long ten minutes, the longest Dora had experienced since meeting the men at the station when they came home from the war for good, but all too soon Kimber and his men appeared at the end of the alleyway, the rat of a man swaggering towards them like he owned the place. Of course Tommy tried to talk their way out of the ensuing gun fight, but Kimber was having none of it. He just laughed that Tommy had bitten off more than he could chew - then he looked to Dora.

“I’m going to take over this shithole...and when I do, I might finally get that one in a dress. Or out of one.”

Dora didn’t react, and neither did Tommy - at least not verbally, although Dora felt him tense in anger when Kimber leered at her: “Oh? Well, if we have to use guns...let’s use proper guns.”

As if on cue - _ because Tommy’s words had been very much a cue _ \- Danny led Freddie and his machine gun out of the factory to their left. Dora smirked, glad to see the plan had worked, even happier to see prison hadn’t broken Freddie’s spirits: “Sargeant Thorne, reporting for duty sir!”

“You were saying something about being outgunned?” Tommy taunted, and that was it.

All of a sudden, every gun except Kimber’s and Tommy’s was raised and pointed at the enemy.

Dora didn’t say a prayer, had no-one to pray to, but she resigned herself to the fact that she might have seen her last sunrise this morning. She wasn’t sure if she had any regrets or not...maybe that the only man she’d ever loved was a man who would never see her as anything other than a friend, if even that. But would time have changed that? Probably not, so Dora didn’t dwell on the matter. Instead, she set her sights on Billy Kimber, and smirked when he noticed her doing so, widening her smirk when she saw him swallow nervously.

Clearly he wasn’t thinking about getting her naked now she had a gun pointed at him.

_ Good. _

The threat of violence filled the air...and then was broken by an all to familiar voice snapping: “Move!”

Ada pushed through the Blinders, little Karl crying in his pram, dressed head to toe in black. Dora didn’t think, she followed Ada out into the space between the Blinders and Kimber’s men, glaring daggers at any of the invaders who so much as twitched their guns towards Ada and her baby, putting herself in front of the pair while Freddie shouted: “What’re you doing?”

“I believe you boys call this ‘no-man’s land’.” Ada called back, not so much as looking over her shoulder at her husband and brothers: “So shut up and listen!”

Kimber looked at his men in question, as Freddie and Ada argued, giving Dora a chance to glance over her shoulder at the woman Dora thought had quite possibly lost her mind and mutter: “Ada...why are we standing here?”

“Because I’m proving a point and you’re the only one with the balls to be out here with me.” Ada muttered back, before raising her voice again: “Now most of you were in France...so you all know what happens next. I’ve got brothers, a sister, and a husband standing here, and you’ve all got somebody at home waiting for you. Now I’m wearing black in preparation. I want you to look at me,” Ada demanded, turning on Freddie and Tommy to get her point across to them especially: “I want you _ all _to look at me! Who’ll be wearing black for you? Think about them. Think about them right now. And fight if you want to, but that baby ain’t moving anywhere - and neither am I.”

Dora looked back at Ada again, hissing at her to avoid being overheard by the men: “As much as you’re speaking sense, I will move Karl and you, don’t think I won’t.”

“Karl first.” Ada responded, also speaking lowly to avoid either side hearing the women’s agreement.

Luckily, all the men were too focused on Kimber to pay attention to Ada or Dora, especially with Kimber speaking again: “She’s right, you know. Why should all you men die? It should just be them that caused it!”

Dora saw Kimber draw his gun, and shoved Karl’s pram as hard as she could, sending it wheeling out of the line of fire. Someone screamed, but Dora didn’t have time to turn and look, already firing her own gun at Kimber just as he got off his second shot.

For a few seconds, Dora didn’t feel anything. All she heard was a sudden silence, and saw a look of horror spread across Kimber’s face, before she raised her hand to her chest. It felt...strange. Like there was something vibrating on her skin, a sort of buzzing sensation that lasted for a few seconds, before Dora could feel something hot and wet gathering on the skin below her collar bone. She pulled her hand away to confirm her suspicion - and saw that, unless Kimber had used the same sheep-brains trick Tommy had used to get Danny out of Birmingham, she’d been shot in the chest.

_ ...Oh. _

Dora didn’t think Billy Kimber had used sheep brains.

Just as quickly as the silence had fallen, it seemed the whole world exploded into sound. Someone was screaming obscenities, and then there was another gunshot - but just the one. Then a shadow fell across Dora...but it was just that: a shadow, with no face or features Dora could make out. She couldn’t even hear what they were saying - all she could hear was the sound of the blood rushing in her ears and - _ that must be good, mustn’t it? That I still have blood to be rushing? _

She tried to snap back into it when she felt hands lifting her up against someone’s chest, but the world was abruptly fading. All Dora was aware of was the burning sensation in her chest, like someone had dug a red-hot poker into her flesh and was driving it deeper and deeper. It felt like she couldn’t breathe - _maybe it was because the person holding me to their chest? is holding too tight?_ \- but at least the breathlessness was distracting her from the screaming agony...until it didn’t.

Dora screamed and screamed and screamed, until her throat felt raw and there was nothing but the sound of her own voice in her ears and the agony in her chest.

And then there was nothing.

* * *

Dora woke up to an unfamiliar ceiling, and a much wider bed than the one in her bedroom at Watery Lane. A bed with another body in it.

She turned her head to Tommy asleep next to her, his lanky frame curled up tight against her side and his face buried in her shoulder. He even had one of his hands resting on her stomach, on top of where her hands were resting...which had to be difficult, given the bandage she could see wrapped around his chest and shoulder.

“He wouldn’t leave you, you know?” rasped a voice from Dora’s other side, making Dora turn to see Polly smiling down at her: “Wouldn’t stay in his own bed - would only sleep if the nurses let him share a bed with you.”

“Perks of being a Shelby, I guess.” Dora smiled dryly.

Polly chuckled, her eyes fond as she shook her head: “Don’t you start deflecting like that, I get enough of that from those idiots.” she gestured at Tommy with her cigarette, before turning abruptly serious: “You almost died, getting in the way of a bullet meant for Tommy.”

“Well, in my defence, I didn’t know it was for him.”

“What have I just told you about deflecting?” Polly rolled her eyes playfully: “You saved Tommy today. And little Karl - me and Ada have had a chat about that, and I know you stepped out into that no-man’s land with her to protect her and the baby. You’ve bled for this family before, but now...well, now they’ll be no shaking us off. Despite what that one said.”

Dora raised an eyebrow: “He told you about that, did he?”

“He thought you were going to die. He told me a lot.”

“And you promised not to repeat any of it.” murmured a low voice from somewhere around Dora’s collar bone.

Still half asleep, Tommy clearly didn’t think to stop himself from nuzzling his face against Dora’s collarbone, humming low in his throat as he did so. Dora raised an eyebrow at Polly, who smirked back at her. Clearly she wasn’t going to be telling Dora anything more than she already had...but since he was half unconscious, Dora was going to get everything she could out of him. Something she conveyed to Polly with a look, sending the older woman out the door with a knowing smile.

As it turned out, for once she didn’t have to put any effort into getting any information out of Tommy: “Do you know why I was attracted to grace?”

_ Not exactly what I wanted to talk about...but information is information, _ I suppose, Dora thought: “She was pretty? She wasn’t scared of you?”

“She wasn’t scared of me.” Tommy agreed: “And she didn’t look like you.”

“She what?”

“She didn’t look like you. I had to stop going after women that looked anything like you after I...”

“After you what?”

Tommy hesitated for a few seconds, before muttering: “I called a girl your name. She didn’t mind - she was a whore over in France, I don’t even think she understood much English...but I called her Dora, and I had to start seeing women that looked nothing like you. In case I slipped up again, and it was with someone who might talk. Might tell you about what I’d done.”

Dora wasn’t quite sure why Tommy was telling her about a French whore...except that she did.

Tommy didn’t - _with the exception of Grace, if that even was an exception_ \- and never had done relationships, not since Delia Abbot when he was fifteen, and she’d broken his heart too. What Tommy did do was charm, or pay, his way into women’s knickers for a night or two. He fucked women, and that was about as far as his relationships went. The fact that he’d called another girl her name meant more coming from him than it would coming from anyone else.

“So why do you think about me - or trying not to think about me - when you’re fucking other women?”

“You know the answer to that, Dora.”

“My head is fuzzy from blood-loss. Tell me anyway.”

Tommy sighed, but after a second he answered despite his obvious discomfort: “Because I wished they were you. Even when I was trying to not think about you.”

As soon as he’d told her that he’d called someone her name during sex, Dora had known that Tommy wanted something more than friendship and the same loyalty he got from all members of the Peaky Blinders, but it was nice to have it confirmed. Made it a lot easier to ask her next question:

“So, is it just that you want to fuck me because you never have and I’m somehow unattainable because I’m ‘one of the boys’? Or is it actually _me_ that you want to fuck?”

Tommy made a strangled noise: “You know the answer to that, too.”

Dora sighed: “I wish I did, Tommy, but I really don’t.”

Making another strangled noise, more pained than before, Tommy hauled himself up onto his good arm to look down at Dora: “Theodora Crawford, I’ve loved you ever since you beat seven shades of hell Delia Abbot after she broke my heart by kissing Freddie Thorne. I knew I’d love you forever when you then proceeded to punch Freddie in the mouth and told him to think with his brain and not his cock. And I was right. I’ve never stopped loving you...and, if you’ll let me, I’d really like the chance to make up for all the things I said before we fought Billy Kimber.”

Although part of her wanted to draw this out - _ it had hurt what Tommy had said to her, and it was nice to be told she was loved _ \- Dora couldn’t be shitty to Tommy, not about this: “I’d like that too.”

“Thank you, Dora.” Tommy whispered, leaning down so his faces was just inches from hers, before his expression turned pained.

“How about you make it up to me after we get out of this hospital bed?”

Tommy didn’t look convinced...if anything, he looked worried: “Can I stay here?”

“I’d like that, as well.” Dora smiled, gently guiding Tommy back down the mattress so he was lying by her side again, face once more resting against her shoulder: “I love you, Tommy.”

“I love you, Dora. And I always will.”

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I might make this into a longer story? There was a lot of stuff I thought of that fed into this story that didn't make the final draft, which I'm a bit disappointed by. Would anyone be interested in reading a full length story about Tommy and Dora?
> 
> **Update 01/11/2019 - **as mentioned above, some people commented that they would be interested, there's now a full length story based on this one-shot, so go to the next work in the series to find out the backstory I had in my head when writing this one-shot and what happens afterwards.


End file.
